The Reward for the Patient Widowed Mother
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Single mother households around the world today are at an all time high. This results from the unjust wars, chronic illnesses, and other causes. The beauty about Islam is every single aspect of life has been addressed in regards to actions people do obeying or disobeying their Creator and His Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Allah has appointed men as maintainers and protectors over the women. This role is for the men, so how about a woman who takes on the role of providing and maintaining herself to make sure her children are properly cared for? She’s able to tolerate long-suffering and places her ultimate trust in Allah.
عَنْ عَوْفِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ : أَنَا وَامْرَأَةٌ سَفْعَاءُ الْخَدَّيْنِ ، امْرَأَةٌ آمَتْ مِنْ زَوْجِهَا فَصَبَرْتَ عَلَى وَلَدِهَا ، كَهَاتَيْنِ فِي الْجَنَّةِ .
Awf bin Malik said: “The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, ‘I and a woman whose face has darkened (i.e. a woman who is a widow) and is patient with her child will be as close as these two fingers in the Garden.
Benefits for this topic:
“and is patient with her child…” She endures patience although it may be difficult and uneasy for her. When her husband passes away she doesn’t accept to remarry, rather she is forbearing so,she deals with the hardships and troubles in order to raise her child. This is the meaning for this chapter.
“a woman whose face has darkened…” This refers to a kind of dark color but not black. The meaning here refers to a the woman that makes sacrifices and doesn’t dress up and adorn herself so much so her skin color changes. This darkness comes as a result of the losses and hardships she stands while raising her child alone after her husband’s death. This is something that is witnessed. For example when a married woman’s husband is away she bears the burdens of her affairs alone.
Hence, It has been narrated on the authority of Jabir that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: If one of you comes (back from a journey) at night, he should not enter his house as a night visitor (but should wait) until a woman whose husband has been away from house has removed the hair from her private parts and a woman with disheveled hair has combed her hair.
In other words, a woman needs to prepare for her husband after he’s been gone from her. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) used to safeguard this etiquette. This issue addresses the mental life and psyche of a man and a woman. A man mustn’t see his wife a in physical state which he isn’t pleased with.
“ Widow, Widowed” has no husband. This category of women is one whose husband has died. Therefore she has no need to beautify herself and wear nice clothes in the house.
Nonetheless, if she finds difficulty and needs a husband and her son will not be abandoned, then she should get married. There are a great deal of men who take orphan children as their own.
This hadith represents the virtue and reward for a woman who doesn’t remarry and after her husband passes she avoids adorning herself. She takes these measures to ensure the upbringing of her child. As a result of this her face isn’t as bright as it used to be.
If a person finds a widow and goes and asks her hand for marriage ,but she acts by this hadith and is afraid that her child will not be properly treated then no doubt she will have an enormous reward.
Taken from the Explanation of Abdul Mufrad, by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Sa’eed Rslan(may Allah preserve him). Vol 1/371-375.
Translated by Abu Aaliyah Abdullah ibn Dwight Battle
Doha, Qatar 1436©
The Abu Aaliyah Gazette
 Collected by Ahmed (24006,24008), Abu Dawud (5149),Al-Khara-itee in Al-Akhlaq (635)At-Tabbarani in Kabeer(103) Al-Bayhaqi in Iman(8312,8313) and Ibn Abi Dunya in Nafaqah (86) on the authority of Awf ibn Malik- Sh Rslan has graded this hadith to be Hasan li Ghayrahi.
 Sahih Muslim (4728)