image_pdfimage_print

The Social Psychology of Love and its Attachment

Taken from the works of Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 

People have a strong connection with the feeling of love and for that reason there some many words that describe it. Ibn Al-Qayyim mentioned over fifty different words that describe love and its attachment. Below is a list of a few of those words that describe the behavioral mindset for the one in love.

 

(العلاقَةُ) : The relationship and this word are used because the heart has an attachment to the thing it loves.

(الهوى) The desire and affection. This occurs when the human’s nature is inclined to something and in most cases desires refers to a blameworthy kind of love. Allah said in the Quran, “  But as for him who feared to stand before his Lord and restrained himself from impure evil desires and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode.” (79;40-41)

 It’s also said that it’s called Hawwa since it pounces on the person. ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported:

I felt jealous of the women who offered themselves to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and said: Then when Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, revealed this:” You may defer any one of them you wish, and take to yourself any you wish; and if you desire any you have set aside (no sin is chargeable to you)” I (‘A’isha.) said: It seems to me that your Lord hastens to satisfy your desire.

(الصَّبوة و الصَبا) The Sensual desire. It’s written in the dictionary that the sensual desire comes from yearning and it’s what makes one leans towards the foolish and also it’s been called the sensual desire because the person affected with it will chase younger women.

 

(الصَّبابة) Ardent love. This is a milder form of desiring something and it’s passion.

 

(الشَّغَفُ) Infatuation. Allah said:  “she loves him violently…”(12:30)

 

(شَّعَفُ) The Apex. This is a kind of emotion that can pierce the heart. Hasan Al-Basri read the verse in Surah Al-Yusuf :

“قَدۡ شَغَفَهَا حُبًّا‌ۖ “ with “قَدۡ شَعفَهَا حُبًّا‌ۖ  “ which would translate in meaning to she had an apex kind of love for him. Imam Hasan replaced شغف with شعف.

 

(المِقَةُ) This means to love someone tenderly.

 

(الوَجْدُ) This is an ecstasy of love. This is the kind of love that’s followed by depression

 

(الكَلَفُ) To be very fond of someone.

 

(التتيُّم) To be enthralled by love. This can make someone subservient and drive him out of his mind.

 

(العشق)Passion. Having the passion for something causes a person to change completely. Although the Sufi’s say Allah can have this kind of love for his devout servants, the People of Sunnah disagree with this weak opinion based off of two reasons;

  • It hasn’t been mentioned that Allah has a passion for his servants, unlike love which has been narrated
  • Having passion is exceeding the bounds of love and excessiveness doesn’t fit the Most High.

 

 

(الجَوَى) To be passionately stirred by love or grief.

 

(الدَّنَفُ)  To be seriously ill. This word is rarely used for the love, but later generations of scholars used it to refer to those who are madly in love.

 

(الشَّجْوُ) A love filled with trouble. This kind of emotion is attached to distress and anxiety.

 

(الشَّوقُ) Yearning and longing someone or something. This kind of love makes the heart extend towards the person or thing it loves. This word has been mentioned in the Sunnah. The Prophet [ﷺ] said

اللَّهُمَّ بِعِلْمِكَ الْغَيْبَ وَقُدْرَتِكَ عَلَى الْخَلْقِ أَحْيِنِي مَا عَلِمْتَ الْحَيَاةَ خَيْرًا لِي وَتَوَفَّنِي إِذَا عَلِمْتَ الْوَفَاةَ خَيْرًا لِي اللَّهُمَّ وَأَسْأَلُكَ خَشْيَتَكَ فِي الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ وَأَسْأَلُكَ كَلِمَةَ الْحَقِّ فِي الرِّضَا وَالْغَضَبِ وَأَسْأَلُكَ الْقَصْدَ فِي الْفَقْرِ وَالْغِنَى وَأَسْأَلُكَ نَعِيمًا لاَ يَنْفَدُ وَأَسْأَلُكَ قُرَّةَ عَيْنٍ لاَ تَنْقَطِعُ وَأَسْأَلُكَ الرِّضَاءَ بَعْدَ الْقَضَاءِ وَأَسْأَلُكَ بَرْدَ الْعَيْشِ بَعْدَ الْمَوْتِ وَأَسْأَلُكَ لَذَّةَ النَّظَرِ إِلَى وَجْهِكَ وَالشَّوْقَ إِلَى لِقَائِكَ فِي غَيْرِ ضَرَّاءَ مُضِرَّةٍ وَلاَ فِتْنَةٍ مُضِلَّةٍ اللَّهُمَّ زَيِّنَّا بِزِينَةِ الإِيمَانِ وَاجْعَلْنَا هُدَاةً مُهْتَدِينَ ‏”

O Allah, by Your knowledge of the unseen and Your power over creation, keep me alive so long as You know that living is good for me and cause me to die when You know that death is better for me. O Allah, cause me to fear You in secret and in public. I ask You to make me true in the speech in times of pleasure and of anger. I ask You to make me moderate in times of wealth and poverty. And I ask You for everlasting delight and joy that will never cease. I ask You to make me pleased with that which You have decreed and for an easy life after death. I ask You for the sweetness of looking upon Your face and a longing to meet You in a manner that does not entail a calamity that will bring about harm or a trial that will cause deviation. O Allah, beautify us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who guide and are rightly guided.”

 

The scholars have said that when the people who love Allah yearn to meet Him, he places in their meeting in their hearts.

 

(الخِلابة) Charm and engaging manners. This is a deceitful kind of love.

 

(البلابل) A love that gives a person apprehension.

 

( السَّدَم) A kind of love that afterward the emotion is followed with regret.

 

(الغَمَرات) This applies to an emotional exuberance. It’s a kind of love that covers the heart with love, thanks or negligence. Allah said,

قُتِلَ ٱلۡخَرَّاصُونَ (١٠) ٱلَّذِينَ هُمۡ فِى غَمۡرَةٍ۬ سَاهُونَ

Cursed be the liars, (10) Who are under a cover of heedlessness (think not about the gravity of the Hereafter), (11) [ 51:10-11]

 

(الوَهَلُ) A Crush. The kind of love alarms a person so much so that when he sees the person unexpectedly he turns pale. This occurs since the beauty captivates the heart.

 

(اللاعِجُ) An Adulation. This is a burning love and sensation in the heart.

 

(الوَصَبُ)  Lovesick. To be chronically ill due to love.

 

(الكَمَدُ) Heartsick due to love.

 

(الحَنينُ)To be soft and tender-hearted.

 

(السُهْدُ) Insomnia. This illness can be caused by love and its attachment.

 

(الفُتون) To be seductive. The temptation, test, and trial for someone. The intended meaning here refers to love being a trial. Nothing brings about a temptation or a trial for anyone more than love. It’s also said about a woman that is very beautiful, “ She’s a fitnah”.

 

 Love and will are the principle and the starting point of any action. Actions can only happen when a person loves something and has the will to do it.

 

Ibn Al-Qayyaim said: “ Love and attachment various and the best form are those who love each other for Allah’s Pleasure

 

(غرام ) A passionate desire that attaches a person to the thing he loves.

 

(خِلم  ) a friendship based on sincere and true love.

 

(التَّدْلِيه ) When a person is mad for someone. This kind of love causes a person to act rash and crazy resulting from his desires.

 

(الوَله ) This kind of love causes a person to have a soft spot for someone this causing them to act insane and confused.

 

These are some of the words that point to love in heart and its various kinds and level which affect a person’s judgment.

Taken from Rawdatul Muhibbeen by Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah

Prepared by Abu Aaliyah Abdullah ibn  Dwight Battle

Doha, Qatar [1440H] ©

[powr-hit-counter id=cfeb4ff4_1541855614742]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.